Your story of abuse doesn’t define you. The trauma you experienced doesn’t limit your potential. The unimaginable, horrific pain that was brought on you doesn’t mean you are not good enough.
And your value does not decrease by someone’s inability to see your worth.
You are not “playing the victim” because you share your story. You are bringing it into the light. You are not “begging for attention” because you are embarking on a healing journey. You are letting others know that they are not alone.
You are brave. You are a warrior. You are a survivor, setting the world on fire with your truth. Don’t let anyone stop you from that pursuit. You never know who needs your warmth, your unyielding courage.
There are many horrific parts of being in abusive relationships. One of the worst, however, is feeling like you are alone. There’s no logic. “Why didn’t you leave?” is not a question that can be answered in a sentence. It’s an island of isolation and that’s how it’s designed to be. That’s why it’s so effective.
BRING IT INTO THE LIGHT. They want you to hide. Shame thrives when it is in darkness.
For me, sharing my story has not just been healing, it’s helped me take my life back. It’s in some ways a form of public accountability as well; we know how easy it is to slip back into codependent tendencies. It’s also how the many people that love and care for me have begun to understand my journey, particularly the parts that they’ve been kept in the dark about. It’s brought strangers from 90 countries together to share stories and bond. It’s renewed friendships with people I haven’t talked to in 20 years and encouragement from many others.
That doesn’t mean you have to share intimate details. You can if you want. I don’t walk around with a sign on my head saying I’m a victim of domestic abuse or introduce myself to strangers at networking events (gosh, I almost miss networking events) by telling them I’m a codependent. But I have no shame in talking about any of that either, and neither should you.
So go on with your bad self, and set the world ablaze. We are waiting to hear your truth!