If you’ve ever had the opportunity to watch a child being brought into this world, you already know that it is one of the most raw moments you will ever witness.
The power of birth is extraordinary, and there is a natural high that follows. There is something especially spectacular about uninterrupted, unbothered, pure physiological birth.
I felt like I met my Maker during the births of each of my children. My inner strength summoned and my courage tested. Each experience was formative for me, helping to shape me into the mother and person that stands here today.
I was three months pregnant with Mila when I filed for divorce from my ex. My pregnancy was emotionally, mentally, and physically draining from the combination of circumstances, including already having a 2.5 and 1 year old at the time.
I chose homebirth from the very beginning, praying daily that God would use my pregnancy and this new baby to facilitate healing for me and my older two kids. The intentionality that went into planning the night Mila entered the world gave me greater purpose. Each and every choice during those 39 weeks was mine; my care providers giving me complete freedom and trusting my body and mind. The confidence I had in the team I carefully selected left me feeling prepared for anything.
My pregnancy and birth with Mila was the most healing journey I’ve ever been on. My road to and through wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. The experience was the most empowering of my life, and not just the birth itself. Working to prepare my mind, body and spirit for the process put control in my hands in a process – both divorce and birth – that was inherently out of my control.
I share this video compilation of my 4 hour labor and homebirth for several reasons.
First, because not everyone has the chance to witness birth, and most people don’t have an opportunity to witness physiological birth. I share this intimate experience for you.
Second, because it truly was the most magical night of my life, and in the age of social media, we share big things that happen with our friends and family.
Third, I share this for anyone curious about what homebirth can be like. There’s so much judgment passed on women no matter how they choose to birth, and normalizing something that is consistently portrayed as terrifying and painful in a safe setting can help redefine what birth looks like.
Fourth, I share this because I want to inspire anyone that may be facing the birth of a child in the middle of what seems like an impossible time. Whether that be on your own because of a deployed spouse, during a pandemic, with an abusive partner, with unsupportive family, or any other circumstance that makes something that is arguably difficult even moreso. You can do this, mama.
And finally, I am sharing this because I am damn proud of myself for making what could have been the most difficult time of my life the most wonderful time of my life. I’m proud of how I approached my pregnancy and birth and that makes me want to share it too.
Thank you for reliving this special time in my life with me. Somehow my littlest love is going to be one in just three days and I’m an emotional mess as I leave, for the first time in nearly five years, the zone of pregnancy and having an infant.
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