Friends, with some exceptions, 2019 was not my year.
In hindsight, 2018 really wasn’t one that took the cake either, but I’m going to choose to have a good attitude about it and focus on the many blessings that came my way.
To get the lows out of the way — the year was cap ended by my filing for and finalizing my divorce. Not something that I ever wanted to do or to include in a year in review, but alas here we are.
December was a tragically long month of illness – we passed around sinus infections, respiratory infections, the stomach bug (and revenge of the stomach bug!) and all kinds of “daycare sniffles” – I will be happy for that to be through and to have my kids back to the business of being kids again.
We lost our babysitter, Mayra, early in the year, and our au pair, Chloe, in September.
My company announced that we all had to relocate 1000 miles away sometime in 2020 and subsequently disincentivized the move with few concrete details and an upside-down relocation package.
My bonus, usually a healthy amount that goes towards funding school tuition or paying down student loans, was reduced to zero due to financial hardship of the company, as it was for the next two years.
We lost my grandfather, Arthur Trilli, on Thanksgiving Day. My very large Italian family simultaneously celebrated his life and mourned thinking about whether it was the last time we would all get together in my grandparents house, the centerpiece of our family for decades.
But each of those trials came with their own good.
While it’s hard to look at divorce as anything but tragic, I look at the finalization of such as a chance for me to more fully rely on my dependence on God.
While we had many illnesses over the last month of the year, I was able to spend more 1:1 time with each of my children than I ever expected or would have otherwise made time for.
While we lost Mayra and Chloe, we gained Mindy- an absolute rockstar nanny. And starting tomorrow, my lifestyle logistics get easier because all three of my children will be at the same school together- reducing the time and effort that drop off and pick up otherwise took (a nearly 2 hour trip each way will now be 1 hour!).
Facing a big move with little to no help has caused 1) me to expand my horizons and see what else is out there for me, something I was not inclined to do otherwise, and 2) a great deal of flexibility by my management- which allowed me to deal with aforementioned month of illness and generally a return to work during postpartum, a tough transition no matter how you look at it.
A bonus is a bonus, and while I never plan on it, not getting it was HARD. But it forced me to be creative in management of my finances and continue to sharpen the pencil in finding a way to pay for everything as a single parent.
My grandfather’s passing was of course sad, but he lived a long and wonderful life (which you can read about here) that was centered on family. It was joyous to celebrate his life with my family.
Outside of matching the bad with the good, there was plenty of good on its own. Nothing more special than my My Dream Homebirth of Milana Grace…
I watched my children fall in love with another sibling and reach their own milestones in their own time. Each was momentous. We vacationed several times and celebrated special occasions- birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, friendships. I grew in my faith community through deep rooted connections, and received support and love and encouragement from both expected and unexpected places. There is so much to be thankful for.
I hope that 2020 brings you and yours blessings, bliss, and strength for the trials and tribulations.